World War Z

World War Z
Starring: Brad Pitt
Directed by Marc Forster
My Opinion: Scary, swift and fun.

There is nothing more terrifying and gripping than fast zombies. While an overwhelming population of zombies is always scary, even a mob of the sluggish ones can be knocked out with as little as a baseball bat so long as you got a strong wall behind you. But when they run, the virus can spread like wildfire. The element of speed is exactly what made 28 Days Later so terrifying and what gives World War Z a similar edge.

World War Z follows Gerry Lane, the world's only hope for salvation. Gerry leaves his wife and daughters behind, stepping into the depths of infested civilization as he searches for an answer. The film immediately zooms into the center of a budding apocalypse - a chilling yet sexy endeavor with the presence of a scruffy and heroic Brad Pitt.

This movie is awesome but rather trivial, typical of any zombie film especially such with a ridiculous budget. Anyway, while there are certainly shortfalls, I don't think any film has ever raised my heart rate this much. I almost cried at one point. It's a good time.

The Conjuring

The Perron family, one loving couple with five daughters, moves into a quiet country house on a lake. The domestic bliss screeches to a halt when the bubbling paranormal activity erupts, forcing the family to enlist the help of demon-fighting power couple, Ed and Loraine Warren.

It's been a very long time since I've seen a quality horror film. We've all gotten used to the cheap thrill that enters and leaves a theater faster than Charlie Sheen on a hooker. Any horrors that have stood out tend to nestle into the comedy genre. The Conjuring is a spooky draft of fresh air.

The Conjuring
Starring: Vera Farmiga,Patrick Wilson, Lili Tyler
Directed by James Wan
My Opinion: Do it, and do it now
while it's still in theaters

It's hard to pin down what's so terrifying about this film. Sound design balances on the less-is-more notion. The camera stalks the happenings in the house at an even pace, never showing you too much at once. The acting is perfectly grounded, completely absent of the cringe-worthy acting of most modern horrors.

Directer James Wan essentially holds your hand in a clammy death grip throughout the film, guiding you to the darkest corners in the house that he has created. Not only does Wan's film conjure pure terror from the viewer - the kind of terror that makes the audience actually scream - but his film is beautiful.

Indeed, this movie is nearly flawless. The only problem? There is no actual conjuring, but it's a small quibble for a movie like this.

"Spring Breakers" Review

Four girls desperate to join their peers on spring break rob and rough house their way to paradise. It's all fun and games until things get a little too real.

Springbreakers
Starring: Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens, James Franco
Directed by Harmony Korine
My Opinion: Fun but sloppy

Disney stars explode out of their good girl shells in this raunchy art house film from Harmony Korine. With all the creative genius behind it, this film had some bad ass potential. Unfortunately, Springbreakers suffers from a shaky script and a general lack of direction.

Ribbons of  boobs, drugs and violence run through the film - it's plenty entertaining. However, the gentle glide that usual orders Korine's artful dialogue is actually very stiff here. While James Franco nails his scumbag character, Vanessa Hudgens paints an irritating picture of a crazed college girl. By the end of the film, Hudgens and Ashley Benson were interchangeable broken records.

It seems like the film starts out on a mission, then it parties too hard and forgets what it was supposed to do. Perhaps writer/director Harmony Korine has fallen a little from the gritty realism that was Gummo and is relying a little too much on drugs and boobies. Not that I'm really complaining, but let's hope Korine's next piece is a little more solid.

Review of "This is the End"

The apocalypse happens while old buddies, Seth Rogen and Jay Baruchel are at James Franco's banging party. Chaos and hilarity ensue.

This is the End
Starring: Jay Baruchel, Seth Rogen, James Franco
Directed by Evan Goldberg
My Opinion: The perfect summer treat

If you let down your guard a bit, this film is amazing. I laughed the entire time and even trembled a bit. I'm not going to lie, those demons are scary as shit. It's the type of comedy that gives you that fuzzy feeling from laughing for two hours. If the crude but golden comedy don't get you, a special surprise at the end will make it all worthwhile. I suggest toting along a healthy buzz and some good friends.

There are many apocalypse films out there and many more sure to come, but This is the End stands out.

"Lola Versus" Review

When Lola's fiancee unexpectedly dumps her, her life is turned upside down. Despite the support from her friends and family, Lola's broken heart leads her tumbling towards rock bottom.

Lola Versus
Starring Greta Gerwig, Joel Kinnaman, Zoe Lister Jones
Directed by Daryl Wein
My Opinion: a hidden gem

Lola Versus is an impassioned, witty telling of a female at a critical juncture. The dialogue is quick, sharp and entirely hilarious. The characters are lovable and quirky, but complex. In short, Lola Versus is everything that I was expecting out of Girls. I'm not sure why the film received such negative reviews - I was in love with every moment. Greta Gerwig carries her character with broad, sensitive shoulders. You watch her collapse into a flailing and at times despicable heap. Her struggles are hysterical, pathetic and familiar all at once. The film exposes the downfall of romantic preoccupation and highlights the importance of discovering oneself - a message which speaks to audiences across generations.

The ending might edge a bit to close to corny sentimentality, but it still works. My only true qualm with the film was it's estranged representations of race within the film. Like many indie flicks including Wein's hit 500 Days of Summer, the characters are all very white. There is one black bartender thrown into the mix. While he has a couple moments, he's generally absent until the very end where he awkwardly asserts himself as Lola's "black friend" during a terrible but touching birthday rap. This was either a disclaimer for using rap music or a neglectful, halfhearted attempt at self awareness over a lack of race relations. My inkling is that he is just another token character.

None the less, Lola Versus is an indie treat for my sore eyes. Perhaps it's so short that it doesn't have time to unravel, unlike the three hour snooze fests hogging theaters today. Whatever the reason, I highly recommend this one.

Horrible Horrors: 'Warm Bodies' and 'Mama'

I recently RedBoxed two horror movies that I was anxious to see: The zombie rom-com Warm Bodies and Mama, starring Jessica Chastain. While the opening scenes had me hooked, as the films progressed my eyes were left dazzled but somehow also bored. My expectations weren't very high for either: all I wanted was a few satisfying thrills and a fix for my blood craving. Neither film delivered.

Warm Bodies
Starring: Nicholas Hoult, Teresa Palmer, Analeigh Tipton
Directed by Jonathan Levine
My Opinion: Lame

 It seems as though the horror genre is succumbing to an array of special effects with only a blurry shadow of a story. Underdeveloped scripts are tossed into the hands of directors and producers with dollar signs for eyes and ka-ching sounds for heartbeats. That may be a little harsh, but just look at the paralyzed plot in Warm Bodies. The film opens with a brutal, stomach-turning attack on a Franco brother which was awesome. But soon, the inconsistencies are aplenty and the characters are driving an inexplicably functional abandoned car to nowhere. To be fair, I shut the film off early due to lack of patience, but it was dragging more than the zombies' feet.

I'm not sure why, but Mama kept me from throwing in the towel. Despite my boyfriends groaning protests, I was desperately hopeful for a comeback. Soon, the plot thins to water and the only thing that scared me was the thought that Mama would never end. Then the ending happened. I just don't understand how anything so stupid could drag on for so long. Surely the director is a sadist.

Mama
Starring: Jessica Chastain, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau,
Megan Charpentier
Directed by Andres Muschietti
My Opinion: Not worth the $1.20 on RedBox.

I hope the next batch of horror flicks proves me wrong, but it seems as the genre is just as processed and tasteless as American cheese. With the charming wit of Cabin in the Woods and the playful thrills of Evil Dead, you'd think I'm overreacting, but those are exceptions - few and far between. Time will only tell what the future holds for the genre - especially with the upcoming premiere of the Carrie remake, due out October of this year. I don't know about you, but the edge of my seat is absent.

"Silver Linings Playbook" Review

Pat Solitano, a divorcee desperate to get his wife back, moves back in with his overprotective parents. Pat's life becomes more complicated when he meets Tiffany, a mysterious widow searching for closure on her own.

Silver Linings Playbook
Starring: Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Lawrence, Robert Deniro
Directed by David O. Russell
My Opinion: Overrated

As I check off the last of these must-see Best Picture nominees, I'm feeling continuously more disappointed. Silver Linings is little more than a frame for Jennifer Lawrence's performance. While she does a fantastic job, the film itself falls flat. It's as if the writers could not decide on the central conflict resulting in a collage of chaotic scenes filled with yelling. Furthermore, I somehow felt as if every line of dialogue was anticipated - as if I was reading a script still under the editor's eye.

The movie is fine - just another romantic comedy with a couple explosive moments of acting, but it's nothing special. The more Oscar films I watch the less I care about film.

"Les Miserables" Review

Set against the backdrop of 19th century France, Les Miserables is a desperate tale of the human condition under immense amounts of suffering and despair. It is a beautifully shot film with blue hues and impeccable performances.

Les Misérables
Starring Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe, Anne Hathaway
Directed by Tom HooperMy Opinion: Long but not miserable

Most of the performances are fantastic. The always-handsome Hugh Jackman's depiction of Jean Valjean is passionate one: a man weathered by a life of despair yet still hopeful to amend his life. Of course, Anne Hathaway's brief but memorable portrayal of Fontine, a fallen woman desperate enough to sell her own teeth for her child, was disturbing and entirely magnetic. I can't help but ask, however, why were there teeth still in her mouth after she sold her own? I don't think they had dentures then. Perhaps the producers decided that a toothless, bald and malnourished Anne Hathaway would be too grotesque for the public's eye. But the film is quick to obtain a raw grim presence, why stop short?
The feats established by Hathaway and Jackman, while remarkable, overshadow Russell Crowe's performance as the obsessive officer Javert. However, I was still impressed by Crowe: his role is an award-worthy display of terrible casting. Never in my life have I been so anxious for a suicide.
Performances aside, the adaption of Hugo's novel left me teary-eyed but confused about the happenings in the story. The film was so quick to display the performances, it seemed to rush the back story, making the film feel very long upfront. Towards the mid-point, the pieces begin to fall into place; however, the strong political climate is missing. Though the characters are all suffering from the cruel reality of 19th century France, there is very little description of the historical circumstances. I don't need a history lesson, but something that illustrates the political situation beyond a catchy lyric sung by hopeful young men and a single quick shootout would be beneficial.

Though Les Mis has one of the most lovely scores in musical history, I can't see anyone rushing to purchase the soundtrack for Hooper's film. The live singing was impressive and made for a particularly befitting realism, but it wasn't always beautiful. I'm not a musical fanatic and I found the musical style interesting but rather draining.
All in all, Les Mis is a beautiful but endless tale of human suffering. Though I'm glad I watched it, I don't think that I could have gone for the full ride in a theater. However. it's not a bad Red Box pick.

"End of Watch" Review

When Brian Taylor (Jake Gyllenhaal) decides to start filming his daily experiences as a member of the LAPD, he had no idea what he would capture. Brian and his partner/friend, Mike Zavala (Michael Peña), fall in far over there heads when their paths cross with a drug cartel.

End of Watch
Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Michael Peña, Anna Kendrick
Directed by David Ayer
Available on RedBox
My Opinion: Worth the ride.

I'm not sure why, but Bro-mances seem to make the sweetest movies. Even the rambunctiously obscene Ted has it's aw-inducing moments (my review here). Though End of Watch has a raw, hand-held approach to the buddy cop genre, the tear jerking moments are still aplenty. Anna Kendrick's always adorable presence as Taylor's interest of love doesn't exactly dampen the mood either.

As someone who has experienced motion sickness, I'm not a huge fan of the shaky cam, but End of Watch almost makes it work. There is always at least one character filming the action, however, there are also several angles and shots still shaky but without an agent to account for the style. It's not a big deal, but it is noticeable. Also, I did find myself chuckling during a few very ridiculous moments and I'm sure my reaction was not that which was intended. Overall though, End of Watch is gritty and entertaining ride throughout.

"Stoker" Review

Stocker follows India Stoker (Mia Wasikowska), an estranged high school senior who loses her father and best friend to a freak car accident on her 18th birthday. Evelyn (Nicole Kidman), India's distant and emotionally unstable mother, welcomes the support of Charles, her late husband’s distant brother -- whose existence is unfamiliar to India until he mysteriously appears at the wake wearing a light-colored suit -- into their home. As the haunting details about Charles surface, India's infatuation with him blossoms. 

Stoker
Starring: Mia Wasikowska, Nicole Kidman, Matthew Goode
Directed by Chan-Wook Park
My Opinion: Fuck Yeah

Chan-Wook Park's new horror is reminiscent of his past films, including Old Boy, Thirst, and Three Extremes, but it certainly leaps into a league of its own. Though Stoker was quickly criticized for having a "weak" script in comparison to Park's earlier work, this is not an opinion that I share. I am always looking for a high-quality script, but here Park chooses a visual method of storytelling. There are a few scenes that have hardly any dialogue at all, yet the vibrant, stylized cinematography controls the narrative, illustrating the portentous development of a troubled young adult. Park's scrupulous attention to detail fetishizes both incest and the cold heart of a killer, which makes the film all the more alluring and simultaneously creepy (for some). Park's work is utterly sopping in symbolism and I look forward to deciphering further upon my second viewing.

Aside from the dazzling film work, the performances are equally shiver-inducing. Kidman does an incredible job as a widower, desperate for love and affection. Kidman's execution alongside Wasikowska painted a dark but exposed portrayal of a pained mother-daughter relationship. On her own, Wasikowska artfully represents a dangerous young girl in a performance that very much reminded me of Catherine Deneuve in Roman Polanski's Repulsion.

A horror film that is artful and thoroughly meditated, Stoker crawls beneath your skin and leaves a lasting and beautiful impression. Bravo.

"Evil Dead" Review

Five teenagers travel to a cabin deep in the woods for a weekend getaway where they accidentally awaken the evil dead.

Evil Dead
Starring Jane Levy, Shiloh Fernandez, Lou Taylor Pucci
Directed by Fede Alvarez
My Opinion: This is some quality entertainment,
if you don't take it too seriously.

This update of Sam Raimi's beloved classic is surprisingly solid. Naturally, it doesn't quite reach the grotesquely lovable original, but it stands tall amidst recent, less successful remakes (Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Nightmare on Elmstreet). The film modifies but maintains several key moments for Raimi-fanatics (tree raping, anyone?). It also creates a back story behind the cabin and some of the visitors, but an explanation is pretty insignificant for a film with such a degree of ridiculousness.

Overall, Evil Dead is a pretty good modern horror flick: it has laughs and scares without dawdling in between. Don't take it too seriously and pair with a full theater and some alcohol - a brew and view would be ideal!

Review of "Argo"

Argo concerns a group of US diplomats who are trying to escape Iran and the hothead who rescues them.

Argo
Starring Ben Affleck, John Goodman, Bryan Cranston
Directed by Ben Affleck
My Opinion: Tastes like Lean Cuisine.

I've had no respect for the Oscars for some time, so I wasn't all that surprised when Argo was a generic popcorn movie. The film isn't bad, it's just very slow and boring. Had there been a little more action, a little more wit and a lot less waiting, I would have been more satisfied. However, like that of the other Best Picture nominations of 2013, the pacing is extremely slow. Argo lacks the artfulness of Lincoln and the thrills and controversy of Zero Dark Thirty. Perhaps staring at Affleck's dowdy face and pube beard threw me off, but I did not enjoy his movie. It's just kind of lame.

Review of "Admission"

In Admission, the life of Princeton admissions officer Portia Nathan is drug into disarray. Her live-in boyfriend dumps her for a Virginia Wolf scholar; meanwhile she might have just met the child whom she gave up for adoption 18 years ago. The child, named Jeremiah, wants to go to Princeton. Portia soon finds herself in the shoes of all parents with Princeton hopeful children, risking all she has left for her own blood.

Admission
Starring: Tina Fey, Paul Rudd, Lily Tomlin
Directed by Paul Weitz
My Opinion: Really liked it,
but I can't speak for all.

In all honesty, I am quite possibly the worst person to review a movie starring Tina Fey because I'm in love with her. Exhibit A: I'm on my fourth go-around of Bossypants. Indeed, I squealed like Honey Boo Boo eating a stick of butter every time Fey came onto screen. But all obsessions aside, Tina Fey's performance is thoroughly emotional while maintaining her trademark comic bumbling. Surely drawing inspiration from her own maternal experiences, Fey illustrates Portia's shocked but stout motherly instincts. Though throughout my own life I have had a stronger maternal connection to grilled cheese sandwiches than the thought of having children, through Portia's reactions to the sudden existence of motherhood, I was able to develop a new understanding of this bond. The sacrifices she makes for Jeremiah are heart-wrenching and depict a raw, human urge to be needed. Though critics' opinions of the film vary greatly, most agree with me: Tina Fey delivers.

As a whole, Admission requires a more discerning eye. Many have criticized the film for its flat story line. I didn't really notice this while I was watching (probably because I was on the brink of crying from over excitement the whole time, but I do understand the flack). The entire plot focuses solely on Portia, but I enjoyed this "slice of life" style. There is something very humanizing about her experience and I felt myself becoming very invested: her relationship falls to pieces, her connection with her own mother is strained, her biological son might be back in her life, she's up for a large promotion - in short, her previously grounded life is spiraling out of her control. I've criticized films that don't have enough happening in them (Tiny Furniture), but Admission is different because it still has quite a bit of charm.

Although I will admit that Paul Rudd and Tina Fey lack chemistry, I think it actually works this way. Portia is in a desperate place, to which she's reacting. John (Paul Rudd's philanthropic character) is not the love of her life, but an option that makes sense in a certain time and place. Also, his son adores her. The typically movie-style romance is sacrificed for a grimmer but more realistic portrayal. I found it both refreshing and humanizing.

Admission is what it is and not everybody is going to like it. However, I did. I found Portia's ex-live-in-boyfriend and his new wife to be a very funny motif with great comedic timing. Furthermore, Portia's feminist bad-ass mother, Susannah, is hilarious. Don't go into this one expecting a fun romantic comedy, but rather a darker dramedy with ample laughs.

"Pitch Perfect" Review

Who would ever think that a bunch of music nerds singing a capella would be this much fun? Written by Second City alum Kay Cannon,  Pitch Perfect is a hoopla of girl power, catchy tunes and hilarity rolled up into a Pillsbury crescent roll. The oh-so lovable Anna Kendrick plays an angst-ridden DJ longing to move to California to produce music. Her father, a professor and divorcee, has offered to help her with this transition under the condition that she attempts one year in college. Beca quickly adapts with an internship at the school's radio station, but the social aspect proves trickier. That is, until Beca finds herself auditioning for the school's all-girl a capella group, the Barden Bellas.

Pitch Perfect
Starring: Anna Kendrick, Rebel Wilson, Elizabeth Banks
Directed by Jason Moore
My Opinion: Remarkably entertaining.

Pitch is a joyful ride from beginning to end. The songs are remarkably catchy and the performances are ri-donk, and I mean that in every sense of the word. I want to be clear that I am generally not a fan of musicals; that said, Pitch is a film with amazing musical performances. The female bonding is sweet and the rivalry between the Bellas and The Treble Makers intriguing. Consistant entertainment lies at this film's core.

I have heard some say that the comedy was a little "bro-y," but I appreciated the humor, which often involves bodily fluids. However, I did find some jokes a bit dated. Cynthia Rose (Ester Dean), a punky African American lesbian, is often making stereotypically butch remarks that don't quite tap the funny bone. Rather, the tolken gay character made me somehow uncomfortable, as if I were afraid for her next attempt at a generic joke. Each of her lines fall flat, but her voice is pretty stellar. The majority of the comedy packs a little more intellect.

Much like Reduced Guilt Macaroni and Cheese from Trader Joes, Pitch Perfect is a satisfying meal that's OK to enjoy. Anna Kendrick and Rebel Wilson are fantastic to watch (though you could probably play a dangerous drinking game taking a shot every time Beca says "seriously?"). Wilson has incredible timing and delivery, and I'm also looking forward to seeing more of Hana Mae Lee in the near future. Playing a corny announcer opposite John Michael Higgins, Elizabeth Banks is a little plastic but charming as usual. Overall, the casting is superb.

I'm not sure if I will be putting Pitch Perfect on the top shelf with my favorite flicks about chicks, but I have watched it three times in four days. I've also been singing all of the songs pretty much nonstop. Although there are little hiccups in the storyline and script, the lovable aspects strongly outweigh the negative. I for one feel quite gratified.

"Safety Not Guaranteed" Review

Darius (Aubrey Plaza), an incurable outsider and intern for a Seattle periodical, joins with a stereotypical virgin-nerd intern (Karan Soni) and their lazy supervisor (Jake Johnson)  in the pursuit of a man who seeks a partner for time traveling (Mark Duplass). Although the risk is the first appealing aspect for Darius, there may be more in the adventure for her and her pals. 

Cue a trending topic in cinema and an another inappropriate age difference, Safety seems like a Hollywood film disguised as an offbeat indie romance and it didn't quite appeal to my taste buds. The film drags itself towards the predictable conclusion with occasional wise-cracks and a plot line that falls flat. The characters aren't much more compelling either, especially the stereotypical virgin nerd. I mean, how often do we have to see that? At least provide something for the tamed flick outside of a bro makeover.

Safety Not Guranteed
Starting: Aubrey Plaza, Mark Duplass, Jake Johnson
Directed by Colin Trevorrow
My Opinion: Eh.

To the film's credit, I can safely say that it's not the worst film I've seen this year. I mean, I made it the whole way through, so they did something right.  Darius's obsession with a possible psychotic was strange, but a little intriguing. The more interesting story line belongs to Darius's scumbag boss, Jeff. He only picks up the assignment in order to see a girl from his past. When he realizes that the girl has (logically) become a middle-aged woman, he second guesses his devotion and flees. Later in the film, he receives a chance for redemption. He also initiates the nerd-to-bro transformation, which allows the sucker to find a girl that is just slutty enough to deflower a man with shades and a popped collar. Yeah, it's nothing special but it could absolutely be worse. I wouldn't recommend it though.

"The Perks of Being a Wall Flower"

Warning: the following review contains angst.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower chronicles the freshman year of high school for the introverted Charlie. Despite his angst about fitting in, he is quickly welcomed by a couple of seasoned seniors Patrick (Ezra Miller) and Sam (Emma Watson) who show him just how to be an outsider.

I will go ahead and rename this flick The Perks of Being a White Person. I'm not sure what makes Charlie an outsider. Is it his lovable puppy-dog good looks? Is it his wounded and mysterious writer persona? Is it his innocence? I don't know what it is because the film didn't tell me. All we know is that he lost his best friend and that he should probably be in a more advanced English course. The film never really shows the perils of being one of the invisible kids in high school, rather it delves into the perfection that is absorbing all of the "perks" of white suburbia. They party, they dance, they smoke weed.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Starring: Logan Lerman, Emma Watson, Ezra Miller
Directed by Stephen Chbosky
My Opinion: Rubbish. 

Once upon a time, I was a lonely little loser trolling the halls with my head hung low, and it sucked. There were no perks for me. Unlike Charlie, I never went to a hipster party after homecoming. I went home, binged on the second season of The Office with my closeted best friend and stuffed my face with Oreo's soggy not from milk but my tears.

I don't really know what Charlie is bitching about. Yes, your first year in high school is scary, but not when you have sexy friends with an independent spirit and a don't-give-a-fuck attitude. Shoving your way to the middle of the dance floor to dance like nobody is watching is not being a wallflower. Crying in your car because nobody asked you to senior prom is a little closer. My perks were found in a glass pipe halfway through my senior year. A film that chronicled my experience in high school would be a miserable bastard of a flick that no one would want to watch with valid reason. But let's call a shoe a shoe: Charlie is a hipster comfortably lounging with his quirky group of friends.

I will admit that I didn't read the book, so loyalty is not a factor in this review. For that matter, I didn't even finish this movie nor will I pretend otherwise like I have in other reviews (Take Shelter).  Unfortunately for first-time directer and original author Stephen Chbosky, the film is clumsy and arc-less. There is a strange lack of conflict, even when Patrick (Ezra Miller) is gay-ing it up Rocky Horror-style in front of his secret jock lover. You'd think that the closeted man would express some disapproval, but he takes it all in good gay fun. Yawn. Furthermore, Emma Watson did a rather significant disservice to herself by not checking on her lighting. She is an intensely beautiful woman, but in the majority of the film she looks like a slutty troll guarding a bridge. The only reason why I've generously given an entire eyeball to this film is because neither Emma Watson nor Ezra Miller were awful.

In conclusion, I'd gladly choose watching a video of a constipated elephant over this sad excuse for a coming-of-age film. Unless you're a high school looking for a film to pretend to watch while actually finger-banging, don't waste your time.

"Seven Psychopaths" Review

Seven Psychopaths
Starring: Colin Farrell, Christopher Walken,
Sam Rockwell, Woody Harrelson
Directed by Martin McDonagh
My Opinon: An all around good time,
unless you actually read the screenplay.

Seven Psychopaths is a semi-nonsensical story with a lot of blood and one adorable shih tzu. Marty (Colin Farrell), a writer struggling to write a screenplay entitled Seven Psychopaths, finds himself caught up in his own tale. His best friend Billy (Sam Rockwell) is an out-of-work actor desperate to provide Marty with some much-needed inspiration. Whilst dog-thieving with his partner and crime and reformed psycho Hans (Christopher Walken), Billy steals a tiny shih tzu. The dog just so happens to belong to the incredible deadly Charlie (Woody Harrelson). The other psychopaths are woven into the seams of the movie.

Seven Psychopaths is an ultimate escapist's film: littered with exploding guns, splattered blood, fast-paced wit and sunny Californian locations. Although the plot is muddied with inconsistency, the film works rather seamlessly and that little shih tzu is adorable. Where is his cameo at this year's Oscar ceremony? I can't tell you that, but I can tell you that if you are in the mood to turn off your mind and enjoy yourself, travel to your local redbox and pick up this simple rhinestone of cinematic pleasure.

"Zeitgeist" Review

I've always considered myself a cynical person and I've also always been fascinated by conspiracy theory. So, I upon first watching I absolutely adored Zeitgeist. I recently found out, mere moments after publishing my first review which I found beautifully written, that this documentary has been "debunked" on the internet for years. However, I still found this film enjoyable.

Zeitgeist breaks down the world you live in a painfully eye opening way. The documentary starts by exposing religion in a similar way to Bill Maher's Religulous, which I also found well worth the watch. It then continues to expose inconsistencies surrounding 9/11, our countries economical system and even foreign affairs. The stomach-churning argument of the film relies on the fact that all of these elements are linked. Zeitgeist exposes a dreadful lie which has been delivered unto the people for centuries.

Zeitgeist
Directed by Peter Joseph
My Opinion: Enlightening, exhausting, defeating

With a matter-of-fact diction, Zeitgeist lays down the data with a powerful fist that leaves the viewer utterly convinced. Throughout the film's 123 minutes, my jaw stuck fast to the floor and my eyelids to my brow. The documentary delivers each element of its argument in a clean, organized fashion. Despite the overwhelming overload of questionable information, one remains quite a distance from confusion. Unfortunately for my straining eyes,this film relies too heavily on text on the screen. I have a pretty decently sized screen at my disposal, but I was forced to pause the film for to lean over my coffee table, squinting at the screen. Perhaps there is just too much to tell in one little documentary, but I for one absorbed.

Watching Zeitgeist is a bit like being reborn into a new age of knowledge. Although it has been successfully disproven, Zeitgeist makes you question things you've never questioned before even itself. All in all, Zeitgeist exposes the world as a dark place poisoned by power and manipulation. In the end, it encourages us to become strong and undivided, to reconnect with nature, to know and share the truth. Unfortunately for the mission of Zeitgeist, the majority of the population will choose to remain in blissful ignorance.

"Zero Dark Thirty" Review

Strong ladies in a predominantly male world tend to appeal to my breed (aka. young feminists), even though I'm a stereotypical woman who gets sleepy-eyed during three hour war movies. No fear, unlike most of this year's Oscar noms, Kathryn Bigelow's narrative telling of the hunt for Osama bin Laden warrants every minute.

Zero Dark Thirty
Starring: Jessica Chastain, Jason Clarke, Chris Pratt
Directed by Kathryn Bigelow
My Opinion: An excellant telling.

The film opens with a sensational and candid relic of the 9/11 attacks. A montage of haunting recordings from victims' cell phones pierces against a comfortless pitch black screen. This introduction, though harrowing, sets up the rest of the film perfectly. Although it evokes an emotional response, Bigelow's introduction is not empty sensationalism. It actually does an appropriate job of setting up the graphic torture scene that quickly follows.

The film quickly sidles along with the protagonist, Maya (Jessica Chastain), a fresh-faced CIA agent who takes it upon herself to locate Osama bin Laden. Of course, the media has centered its focus on the torture element and I'm not going to waste my time being political. I will say that in my opinion, the torture scenes are very tasteful. She could have gone way farther with Hostel-style violence, which may have been more accurate. The torture victims are not demonized nor victimized, rather situation is depicted with a raw reality. The film isn't about torture techniques, it's about finding Osama bin Laden. The controversy, that has been obnoxiously over-examined thanks to The Huffington Post, isn't much. The film doesn't examine the aspect of torture, it just depicts it as a tool for gathering information. It will probably make people uncomfortable, just like any images of actual torture. However, it's absolutely mindless to discredit this film based on such a small element. It certainly deserves more than that.

Bigelow takes us on a thorough journey that ends with the SWAT team entering the secretive mansion in Pakistan. The film was a bit of an information overload for me, due to my ignorance of the details leading up to bin Laden's capture. However, everything is presented in a clean and organized way without sensationalism. Bigelow guides the audience along Maya's journey without adding any extra fluff. The acting is sharp and intense across the board and the cinematography is stunning and coarse. This film is fantastic.

Review of "This is 40"

A film with a star-studded cast is an exciting but skeptical thing and it seems like Judd Apatow took his pick of the Hollywood litter for his newest flick, This is 40. Before I begin my analysis of this Christmas-time rom-com, I will be straight forward and state that I wasn't a huge fan of the "sort-of prequel" Knocked Up. Nevertheless, my 90's born affinity for Paul Rudd insisted This is 40's place on my Christmas movie must-see list.

This is 40
Starring: Leslie Mann, Paul Rudd, Megan Fox
Directed by Judd Apatow
My Opinion: Not enough funny for two hours, 
but I laughed a lot

This is 40 is about a pinnacle time in a married couple's lives. In the same week, Debbie (Leslie Mann) and Pete (Paul Rudd) are both faced with the big four-o. Financial difficulties arise a long with crises of the mid-life kind and romantic stresses: everything that you'd expect to come with the end of youth, and I guess for Judd Apatow, that also means a plethora of funny pudgy guys (Jason Segel, Chris O'Dowd, Robert Smigel) and one heaping spoonful of eye candy (Megan Fox). Yeah, it was a pretty typical male-oriented Apatow comedy with one very important ingredient missing. This is a romantic comedy, and that means it needs to be for the ladies too. But it's not. The male perspective dominates. Despite the fact that the film is about a couple, we're hardly exposed to Debbie's side of things, aside from her fear of her perfect body sagging or a missing twelve grand from her boutique. Newsflash Apatow: women go through intellectual mid-life crisis too. But, we are only exposed to Pete's emotional and intellectual battle with forty. I don't feel like this is forty for Debbie.

In addition to this predictable flaw, there were several unnecessary additions. I've already mentioned the over-abundance of guys that had to be funny in order to get a date because they were too pudgy to rely on their looks. There were just too many and not enough space for each to exhibit their own little quirks. It was the least funny I've probably ever seen Jason Segel, of whom I'm a huge fan. Also, I will say that Apatow needs to get over Lena Dunham a little. She added nothing except for another awkward moment where she talks about her sex life and adding a "hipster tone" to Pete's record business. Otherwise she was just kind of randomly there... And it was kind of awkward. And why was it Christmas? That added nothing but a stale, sad little Christmas tree sitting in the background. I know I'm coming down really hard, but it was also too long. The film felt like a really long argument.


OK, this was a really negative review and you're probably wondering why there are two eyeballs. Even though there were too many actors vying for the spotlight, the ones that mattered did a really good job. Melissa McCarthy is amazing. She's fucking amazing and I fucking love her. Fuck. It was still really funny at moments and adorable at others. I'll never watch this movie again though, unlike many of Apatow's former films.

"The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey" Review

The story is self-explanatory: hobbit named Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman) embarks on an unexpected journey with a herd of dwarfs and Gandalf the Gray. Peter Jackson's first installment of a three-part series is shot in 3D and with a frame rate that is double the standard 24 fps, creating a dazzling effect that has received mixed reviews among both audiences and critics. Personally, I found the technique moderately nauseating; it both stuns and overwhelms the corneas to a level of hypnosis that allows for a period of three hours to pass in what seems like a blink of a dragon's eye.

The effect is mystical, but with the landscapes of New Zealand already contributing a fairytale-land setting, I don't know if the added shooting technique was necessary. It did, however, add this strange animation-like element which illustrated the playful, child-like wonder in The Hobbit and coupled appropriately with Peter Jackson's fresh and jaunty vision. For the viewer that can stomach a bit of over-stimulation, it's interesting.

The Hobbit
Starring: Martin Freeman, Sir Ian McKellen,
Richard Armitage
Directed by Peter Jackson
My Opinion: I loved it!

My opinion is much less definitive than that of other critics. For example, the film critic for the Chicago Tribune, Michael Phillips, states that he "hate[d]" the divergent shooting technique. He claims that the picture "looks like test footage, devoid of warmth and texture." I highly disagree with this and find his position a little stagnant. First of all, I'd say that if anything, the film looks over-processed. Furthermore, claiming that scenes such as the ones in Bilbo's home when all the dwarves arrive, are "devoid of warmth" is almost like claiming that Hobbiton is lacking in whimsy. The aforementioned scene is deeply set in a yellow-ish hue that envelopes the viewer with the feeling of participation in the joyful gathering. By contrast, Riverdale has the cool, magical appearance that only high-quality CGI can deliver, but Riverdale isn't Hobbiton. While the highly-disputed technique was not my favorite aspect of the film, it certainly did not make the film look like cloudy, flat test footage as Michael Phillips claimed.

The film is long, that is true, but the adventures are riveting and plentiful. There are trolls, gremlins, orcs, dragons, Gollum, and my personal favorite, the storm giants: masses of mountain in the shape of men, brawling with slow but mighty wallops as if they were gigantic Rock Em' Sock 'Em Robots. The scene will have you on the edge of your seat, as will many of the fierce battle scenes. It also left my head spinning, however.

If anything is a little off about this film, I think it's Thorin, the leader of the dwarves. He's a little too intense. His staid expression is repeated throughout the film with a level of exactness that I found impressive, but quite comical. He's not the dwarf that is supposed to be comical, however; that role is reserved mostly for the fat red-headed one who does a slamming job, might I add. Truth be told, I loved the characters. I loved the dwarves loyalty to Thorin, despite his goofiness. I loved Radagast, the brown. I loved the stoic, beautiful elves, as I always do. And Bilbo proves himself just as Frodo did. It's a wonderfully fun movie, and I don't think you need to take it as seriously as everyone took The Lord of the Rings. Why? Because though visually similar, The Hobbit is a fun-filled adventure that works for short attention spans: in short, it's a children's movie.


*Phillips, Michael. "Digitally Pumped up, The Hobbit is a So-So Trip." The Chicago Tribune. 12.13.12.

Review of "Django Unchained"

When I found out about Django Unchained, I was really excited. A film chronicling the life of a freed slave searching for his lost wife sounded romantic and filled with juicy revenge. Plus, I love Quentin Tarantino for his beautiful blood-splattered death scenes, his long, wispy scenes of witty dialogue and his detailed development of strong, multi-dimensional characters. It all sounds great, but the actual movie is a little underwhelming.

Django Unchained
Starring Jamie Foxx, Christoph Waltz, Leonardo DiCaprio
Directed by Quentin Tarantino
My Opinion: Pretty good.

Django does not warrant almost three hours of my time. It's a fine story, inspiring I suppose with lots of trademark killings, however the film in its entirety lacks substance. He captured the tone of a spaghetti Western quite well, not that I hone any knowledge in that area, however, the story remains a little too one dimensional. Perhaps Tarantino thought that the savory revenge on the ugliest atrocity in American history was a subject pungent enough for epic length. I disagree. I found myself becoming a little to anxious for Django to find his wife and ride off into the sunset happily. The clever dialogue I become so accustomed to in a Tarantino film seemed a little stale in Django, moving the plot a lot with an occasional punchy joke, but providing little more.

In addition to the storyline, the characters rang at a slightly flat note. Outside of his essential role in the plot's movement, Dr. King Schultz, a German bounty hunter played by Christoph Waltz, seems a bit overly moralistic, but the acting rounds him out enough. The white Americans in the movie, on the other hand, are portrayed like immoral beasts. That would have been fun for a two-hour movie, but when it's stretches on, you feel beaten with guilt.

The performances are very good: Leonardo DiCaprio is a little cartoonish, but thoroughly exciting to watch, and Jamie Foxx portrays a sensitive and damaged creature with hot anger boiling in his veins. Also impressive is Samuel L. Jackson as a spiteful but complex character riddled with Stockholm syndrome. Indeed, the acting may carry the film more than the script.

It's not that I didn't enjoy Django Unchained, I found it pretty entertaining. A scene regarding hoods in a raid felt memorably ticklish as well as many other comically relieving moments. However, it's not at the level that I have come to expect from Tarantino. It didn't leave me completely bored, but there was just not enough for three hours. Not bad though, not bad at all.