Horrible Horrors: 'Warm Bodies' and 'Mama'

I recently RedBoxed two horror movies that I was anxious to see: The zombie rom-com Warm Bodies and Mama, starring Jessica Chastain. While the opening scenes had me hooked, as the films progressed my eyes were left dazzled but somehow also bored. My expectations weren't very high for either: all I wanted was a few satisfying thrills and a fix for my blood craving. Neither film delivered.

Warm Bodies
Starring: Nicholas Hoult, Teresa Palmer, Analeigh Tipton
Directed by Jonathan Levine
My Opinion: Lame

 It seems as though the horror genre is succumbing to an array of special effects with only a blurry shadow of a story. Underdeveloped scripts are tossed into the hands of directors and producers with dollar signs for eyes and ka-ching sounds for heartbeats. That may be a little harsh, but just look at the paralyzed plot in Warm Bodies. The film opens with a brutal, stomach-turning attack on a Franco brother which was awesome. But soon, the inconsistencies are aplenty and the characters are driving an inexplicably functional abandoned car to nowhere. To be fair, I shut the film off early due to lack of patience, but it was dragging more than the zombies' feet.

I'm not sure why, but Mama kept me from throwing in the towel. Despite my boyfriends groaning protests, I was desperately hopeful for a comeback. Soon, the plot thins to water and the only thing that scared me was the thought that Mama would never end. Then the ending happened. I just don't understand how anything so stupid could drag on for so long. Surely the director is a sadist.

Mama
Starring: Jessica Chastain, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau,
Megan Charpentier
Directed by Andres Muschietti
My Opinion: Not worth the $1.20 on RedBox.

I hope the next batch of horror flicks proves me wrong, but it seems as the genre is just as processed and tasteless as American cheese. With the charming wit of Cabin in the Woods and the playful thrills of Evil Dead, you'd think I'm overreacting, but those are exceptions - few and far between. Time will only tell what the future holds for the genre - especially with the upcoming premiere of the Carrie remake, due out October of this year. I don't know about you, but the edge of my seat is absent.